I can’t teach you lessons like that
Few years back (in 2018), I had a small disagreement with a cab driver in Delhi when the driver suddenly started hurling abuses. I disconnected the call and switched off my phone. But I was still worried because I was at a public place (a metro station) at wee hours and he knew my location. Later I spent weeks mulling over ‘Why do some men feel that they can use rape as a weapon against women whereas a man raped by a woman is not even considered a victim in our society?’. After a lot of thinking, talking to people and reading (a Quora answer about the perspective of a migrant man in a metropolitan city was insightful), I wrote this monologue (or poem).
If we have a disagreement,
If we have a fight,
You can argue with me,
You can shout at me,
Even if you are wrong,
Even when I am right.
Because I can do that to you too.
I can argue with you,
I can shout at you,
Even if I am wrong,
Even when you are right.
But what I don’t understand is your idea
That you can show me my place by fucking me,
That you feel that’s the way to do it,
To settle an argument with me,
To tell me what I should know,
To teach me what I should do,
By simply fucking me.
I doubt if women can think like that,
That I can put you in place by fucking you.
But men believe in it all the time.
Not just in public spaces,
But inside the house walls.
When a husband feels that
He has the right to
Force himself on the wife,
Against her will.
When a disagreement with a cab driver
Leads to him concluding
That she is asking for it,
That he can fuck her
To make his point clear in her head.
That’s what is wrong with your idea:
That you think you own a woman’s body
More than she does,
That you can use it anytime,
To settle arguments,
To teach her lessons,
Or simply because you can.
That’s where society makes us unequal,
You see, I can’t teach you lessons like that.
